if I were to be honest

If I were to be very honest with y'all, I would have to admit that I'm a bit of a procrastinator. "Surely, you jest," you are probably saying. "You do such a good job on the blog with timely updates!"

But, I do not jest. No, I confess. I am a procrastinator. I get distracted easily. And I'm a time waster. These are some of my many flaws. The problem is that my procrastination/distraction/time wasting can go without end without me even realizing it. Are you following? No? Okay, here's an example ... Pinterest! I get on to just "take a look" at what my peeps are pinning & an hour passes without me even realizing it! What??

To recap, I get distracted easily & for long periods which leads to my procrastination which leads to me wasting time. And while some people have the same tendencies, some people can also just rally themselves together, focus & get over it. Not me. I've tried. I've really tried ... like setting myself a time limit on how long to be on the computer. But I realized that the only way I can be less distracted is to just get rid of the distraction completely.

So I did it. I took the plunge & I deleted my Facebook account & my Pinterest account. I wasn't a Facebook junkie by any means. I didn't stay up til all hours of the night playing Farmvillle or "liking" everybody's statuses or commenting on everyone's pictures. No, my tendency was to just "take a look" at what's happening in the world of Facebook & then somehow I'd get sucked into some endless maze of looking at pictures or profiles & then an hour would pass without me realizing it. I sound like such a creepy dork!

And it was the same with Pinterest ... good intentions to just "look" & then it sucked me in like a tractor beam! I'm obviously not good with setting my own boundaries! So for the last few weeks I have really felt like the Lord was asking me to just "unplug" &, to be honest again, I was not listening. I thought, "If I get rid of it, how will I stay in contact with people? How will they know what's happening here or how to pray?"

It's all just so silly now that I think about it. Because in reality my family & bestest friends & I don't use Facebook to stay in contact with one another ... we are old school: we email & we Skype. I haven't "reconnected" with anyone on Facebook that, if I deleted my account, our relationship would fall back into some abyss. I don't have to use Facebook to keep everyone updated with pictures of life here, I have the blog for that.

For Pinterest, it gave me a lot of great ideas & recipes to try. I'm thankful for that & it was fun while it lasted but, for now, it's got to go. I've got 11 blank canvases in my kitchen from projects I found that I just "have to do" that haven't been done because I've been looking for more projects! I'm hopeless, y'all!

It really all boils down to being obedient to what I feel the Lord is asking me to do right now & to leaving a legacy for my children. If I were to pass on today, what would I have to show to my children of what kind of woman I was? I have a journal that sits on my dresser with all the greatest intentions in the world of filling it up with stories about them but it's empty. I have all these projects that are on my to-do list that I could leave behind that shows them what I did with my hands but they haven't gone much further than a to-do list. And I have an online journal (aka - this blog) that lies dormant for weeks at a time. I have a stack of books with ne'er a crease in them that shows I even attempted to read them.

What my kids could probably find is a history on Firefox on our computer that shows I spent countless hours blog hopping (one of my biggest time wasters) & looking at what other moms are saying about their kids instead of saying anything about my own. Or that I looked at all these awesome crafts without ever making one for them.

Now I need you to know that I do not have some kind of closet internet addiction where I need to go seek counseling. What I do have is a sense of discomfort with how I spend my time. I know in reality it's not really that much time but when you're a mom of little 'uns, you really don't have that much time as it is & I don't want to waste it anymore. I also need you to know that tooting around on this here ole world wide web has not, in essence, taken away from my roles as wife or mother. (The only time I'm ever on the computer when the kids are awake is for work.)

But what it has taken away from is my relationship with God. Don't worry, I'm not in some kind of pit. I just feel like I'm not growing. And Facebook nor Pinterest nor a blog about some mommy in Texas that I don't even know is not helping me grow in my faith. In the long run though, I guess this actually does affect my family because when I'm not growing in my walk, then that filters out into other areas of my life. And more than being a wife & a mommy & pleasing these people that I hold so dear, I want to be a woman that is head over heels in love with my Savior.

I want to read that stack of books. I want to journal about my children ... in my handwriting & something that is tangible & I can hand to them one day. I want to be crafty & do something! I want to go deeper in my relationship with God. And I know this isn't for everyone & I'm not trying to toot my own horn or say, "Join the Bandwagon! Let's ban Facebook!" & start some kind of revolution. There are many women that I respect that can do it all. Right now, I'm just not one of them.

In addition to my list of confessions above, I also am not a multi-tasker. I can't do it all. I can't focus on more than one thing at a time. For me, I needed to cut some of these distractions & then learn some self-discipline over others (aka - the blog hopping).  I got like this when we lived in America one time. I was so bad about just turning on the TV while I ate lunch & then 2 hours later, I was still sitting there with an empty plate in my lap. I eventually had to tape a large piece of paper over the screen that said, "STOP! Have you spent time with the Lord today?" so that I could not just turn on the TV flippantly!

Y'all are probably really regretting you read this post (if you've made it this far) & are saying to yourselves, "Well that's a lot more of Parker Phillips than I dared to ever care to know." But, it is what it is.

I just wanted to give y'all an explanation (& a lengthy one, at that) of why you won't see me on Facebook anymore or Pinterest. I will still keep my Twitter account because that's a medium that I can handle ... short & sweet & no way to get sucked into some kind of maze. I will still blog ... hopefully with a little more regularity. And I'm still available by email or Skype.

So for any of you out there who are disappointed by my move, I'm sorry but this is where I need to be right now &, to be honest, it feels really good to be free!

Lukemon

The Lukester turned 18 months old last month & I thought it was about high time y'all had an update on the little man in our lives. (In reference to the title, his African name is technically Luka but everyone calls him Lukemon ... think of saying it with a Jamaican accent.) 

From day one (& even from before), Luke has been ALL boy ... rough & tumble! He is beyond active & cannot stand to sit still. He does NOT like to snuggle. I don't think that has to do with him being a boy so much as just being SO active but it still came as quite a shock since his big sister is a huge snuggler.

However, he & Isabelle have a few similarities ... he LOVES books & LOVES music. I kid you not, the boy sweats himself the musical Les Miserables. He prefers that music any day over Barney or Elmo. He goes into a complete trance when we watch Les Mis on video. If anything else is on TV, it won't keep his attention for more than 5 minutes, but a little bit of "One Day More" & he's glued.

Luke's personality is coming out more & more. Tonight he did something at the table & I looked at Mark & said, "Welcome to the next 18 years of our life!" He was trying to be funny & he knew it. He loves to entertain. He loves to leave a room, shut the door behind him, wait a few seconds & come bursting back in while screaming because he thinks it "scares" us! 

He is getting more & more interactive. He has memorized about a dozen of his books &, although, he can't speak a ton of words, he knows how to communicate which book he wants. Right now, he loves to play with blocks, things that stack & the Little People toys. He is learning to use his words instead of his preferred method of communication ... crying, yelling or whining. He doesn't have many words but he has enough that communication is getting easier. Did we ever tell you that his four of his first words were Daddy, ball, eat & book? Hmmm ... wonder who he's turning out to be like?

These last few months have definitely been an adjustment time for Luke. When Gaga & Papa were here at the beginning of July, the boy had 4 teeth. Now at the beginning of September, he is cutting #13 & 14. We also broke Luke of his pacifier this last month. When he learned how to say the word, we knew it was time for him to part with it. For Isabelle, it was a rough 3 days but with Luke, he cried for about 10 seconds & that was it! Amazing!! His naps are a little shorter now that the paci is gone, but he still sleeps 12 hours at night ... so I'm not complaining!

Luke is also getting to that age where he is starting to play with Isabelle. She, of course, has been dying for him to be ready to play with her ... well, most days. She says she wants to play with him & then it becomes a battle of wills & lessons in sharing! But it's so nice to be at this stage where I can put them in a room, tell them to play & cook supper ... in peace! 

So as you can see (in words & pictures below), Luke is no longer our baby boy. He is our little boy!! And he is such a joy & blessing to our lives. He is getting sweeter & sweeter by the minute. I think I tell Mark everyday that Luke is the cutest, most precious boy EVER!

Loving his books

Loving his Oreos. Seriously, turn my back for 2 seconds & he plops down in the pantry & just goes to town. When I caught him, he didn't even bat an eye. He just smiled, turned around & kept eating!

Loves to smile & make others smile

Loves, loves, loves to play ... that's one of his new favorite words ... "PLAY!"

And loves, loves, loves to EAT!!